Part of me feels a little famous. OK, maybe famous isn't the word, but my daughter thinks I am pretty cool. We found a VHS tape of me in a high school, church youth group musical. I had the leading role as "Christie," friend to troubled Thomas. Hailey has been watching it for 3 days now. Whenever she has TV time she asks to watch "mommy dancing and singing." As she tries to mimic my somewhat cheesy moves a smile creeps upon my face. I honestly remember every word of those songs. But for the life of me I cannot remember the depths of that young 18 year old girl. What was important to me? What did I spend my time thinking about? All I can come up with was..."ME." Wow, it was such a selfish phase of life. As I watch 18-year-old-me flinging my long curly hair I just think, "Oh, how you had no idea!"
How life has changed.
Bottom line is that I do not want my life to be in vain. I do not want to waste my days, flinging my hair and thinking of only me. I told a friend recently that I want to "thrive not just survive." So often as a mom of three little ones I live in pure survival mode. Then the Lord reminds me to focus on what matters: throwing the ball with my 2 year old boy, cheering on my 4 year old little girl as she makes up her 15th dance of the day, and relishing the precious laughter of my 7 month old little guy. Time flies. I don't want to look back on these days and think, "Wow, I sure was selfish back then...just thinking about me (or the cleanliness of my house...ouch, that hurts)."
Live fully in today.
Friday, August 1, 2008
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