I am still so young on this journey of motherhood. I do know that I don't want to look back with regret. I want my kids to behave. I want them to make good choices. I want them to be kind, loving, and competent. But ultimately, I just want them to love the Lord. I read in the Bible that we are to teach His ways continually--when we rise and walk and lay down. But sometimes my teaching feels more like micromanaging--like I am hanging onto control with a tattered thread. And when they choose again to hit, scream, bite, or grab I confess my battle with discouragement.
Don't get me wrong, they are precious. There are those daily moments where my heart melts as my two oldest hold hands to cross the parking lot or they all giggle together in the bathtub, but when I see certain tendencies with each child--areas where I sense they will struggle as they get older--I often feel overwhelmed. That is when I return to the fact that I cannot change my kids. I can be faithful to teach but I must also be faithful to pray because only God can reach the heart and truly change one's natural bent--giving victory over weakness.
I want to be more faithful in my intercession for these little ones entrusted to me for this short time we call childhood. Only He can mold their hearts.