I have realized over the recent months that I have a control issue--that's right, I admit it. It makes me feel safe to be in control. But my three kids have succinctly burst that little bubble. It is almost as if I held some imaginary reigns, and they have slowly been slipping from my grip. And its good because I feel like a much kinder mommy as I learn to let go of some things I once believed to be under my "say-so." In fact letting go of the reigns frees my hands to touch their little faces with more tenderness and look more purposefully into their curious eyes. It is a process and I am being changed.
I highly recommend a book I am currently reading entitled Families Where Grace is in Place by Jeff VanVonderen. As I have read certain paragraphs the thought arises, "Yes! That is exactly what I have been thinking. That is exactly how I have been struggling as a mom." Though I am not going to go into a full book report, His main area of distinction is between curse-filled relationships versus grace-filled relationships--a must read.
In the end I just want to love my kids--for them to sense my love and the love of their heavenly Father through me. Discipline is an aspect--absolutely--but disciplining like the perfect Father is driven by love. Lord, help us in the moments of this day--the messy, difficult, whiny moments. Parenting is one more arena God uses to transform us--free us--from our self-focused vision into people submitted to His amazing love working in and through us.
"Give us Your vision Lord, for these children--Your children--You have placed in our care."