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You may be able to identify this from my posts lately, but I have sensed some areas in my mommy-heart that need God's touch. I have not been able to put my finger on it except for the inward struggle I sometimes face with parenting--am I obeying You, Lord? am I honoring You? am I allowing You to love my kids through me? or am I more focused on my own agenda that I miss the look in their eyes? So I have asked God to shed anything in me that is not of Him when it comes to being a parent. He is so faithful to gently reveal His will if we ask.The other day I watched from a distance as my middle son tried to play with some "older" boys. He longingly looked at their toys, wishing he would be included. Then one of them pushed him away and said, "You are a baby! You can't play!" Yes, my motherly fury arose and I resisted the urge to go push him back, in spite of my son's heartbroken look and quivering lip. But I continued to watch, and pray. And then His quiet voice resonated with my spirit.This world is going to push my kids around--it will push my husband around. I want our home to be a place where they feel safe, loved, encouraged, and empowered to stand for Truth in a world that denies absolutes. Am I making my home that kind of refuge? Only by the power of His might.In my flesh I am so selfish. But God. He alone is the perfect parent. He is full of grace and mercy flowing from a love unconditional. He forgives because He is holy and righteous, not because I deserve it. He looks me in the eyes and knows my heart. He is never too busy to meet me where I am. And He even disciplines as a loving parent should, desiring I stay in His boundaries of safety and victory. I want to reflect Him rightly. Only by the power of His might.Lord, change us. Use us in this world--in our homes--to reflect Your ways and Your Truth in the moments of this day. Enable us to forgive, that others might be restored. Give us Your eyes, that we might see the perspectives of others. Teach us to be men and women who glorify Your name--taking Your Truth from our minds to the depths of our hearts. You are worthy, Lord. You are good!
My pastor preached on wisdom yesterday at church. From Proverbs chapter 1 he explained that wisdom cries out in the "noisy streets" but we will only hear that to which our hearts are attuned. We live among "noisy" streets--demands for our attention, entertainment overload, and satiated desires. So the question becomes, to what are we listening?I have picked up a book I read years ago at seminary called A Hunger for God by John Piper. He says, "The greatest enemy of hunger for God is not poison but apple pie. It is not the banquet of the wicked that dulls our appetite for heaven, but endless nibbling at the table of the world. It is not the X-rated video, but the prime-time dribble of triviality we drink every night" (p. 14). Prime-time dribble of triviality. Wow. Preach it. This is not going to be an anti-TV post. But we should continually evaluate what we allow to enter our ears, and eventually our hearts and minds--the noisy streets or the wisdom of God? The enemy disguises himself and his agenda with things that are pleasant to the eye. But it is the constant nibbling at the table of the world, as Piper describes, that ultimately leads us astray.If you and I truly want to walk these days in wisdom, rather than riding the waves of our emotion and fleeting desire, we have to know the Author of wise things. We must fill our hearts and minds with that which truly satisfies a hungry soul--start indulging on the banquet of our Lord. We cannot eat from both tables. We choose moment-by-moment where our hearts will reside (see Matthew 6:24). Who or what will master us this day?
I am wrestling through parenthood these days. It can be so difficult. Walk with me as I muddle through my thoughts.I think one of my biggest needs before God is to identify expectations. For some strange reason I still expect that my kids should be able to obey the rules, especially after the 139th time of saying the same thing that day. I know my expectation must be obedience because I get frustrated when they once again disobey. But I just don't think that is the correct mindset.I am thinking in regard to God's relationship to us, His creation. Before Christ, God gave man His perfect Law. The Ten Commandments are the heart of God--His desire for mankind. Love God and love others. But how many people actually, perfectly, obey God's law? No one. That is why Christ had to come. Jesus teaches that He is the fulfillment of the Law. The Law was given to point us to our need for a Savior. We cannot live a righteous life in our natural selves. God did not expect that we would be able to obey. He was simply declaring His ways so that eventually we would come to understand that we as humans cannot honor our God left on our own.I think that is what I am supposed to convey to my kids. Their father and I have this law in our home--love God and love others--and when they disobey--over and over and over--it is just one more opportunity to point them to their need for a Savior. Just as God blesses obedience and disciplines disobedience, so must we. But our expectation should not be perfection. They simply cannot do it left to themselves. They also need a Savior.I do sometimes enjoy watching those "reality" shows that show you how to parent. One reason I like them is because most of the time I can be reassured, "At least we aren't that bad." But one fault I find in those shows is that they are missing the key element to living obedient lives: the power of God.You and I cannot make ourselves obey. Sure we can do pretty good for a while--at least until 7 a.m. when everyone else wakes up. Just as our kids rebel from us, we will naturally rebel from our heavenly Father. We must submit ourselves to God, allowing Him to work in and through us, by the power of His Spirit, if we want the life that truly fulfills.We as parents are a reflection of God to our kids. They will inevitably transfer their understanding of God from their relationship with their parents. I want to reflect Him rightly. I want them to know my love--His love. I want them to eventually understand their need for a Savior, that my motives are good, and that grace and mercy are always right. Only by the power of His might will you and I be able to reflect our King. O Lord, love my kids through me.
