But this morning as I awoke to the rise of the sun over the ocean, I missed those little voices. I missed those first hugs from three kids with sleepy eyes and crazy hair. This is the point my man would say, "So does that mean you are coming home early?" And to that my answer is a gentle but unhesitating, "no."
Being a mom is a strange mix for me. In one moment I can sense the glory of it all--the blessings innumerable. I love dancing with them in the living room and deciphering my 2 year old's speech. I love their "artwork" and their laughter. Yet in the very next moment I can feel uncertain and unknown. I can get lost in the laundry and the meal planning and picking my battles. By the time I have a moment all to myself--which is rare--it takes me a minute to really remember who I am without the label of "mommy" in my hands. Strange.
As the condo door closed yesterday I realized that I could do anything I wanted to do. So I thought I would share a few of the things I chose:
- I chose to leave the sliding door open.
- I chose to take only one small bag and a chair to the shore.
- I chose to bury my feet in the warm sand.
- I chose to write.
- I chose to listen to jazz on Pandora, then David Crowder.
- I chose to pray for my family and friends.
- I chose to nap.
- I chose to write some more.
- I chose to nix the bath idea since there were bugs in the tub.
- I chose to be thankful for the many blessings in my life.
- I chose to leave the TV off.
- I chose to rest in this gift of a silent moment.
And no, I didn't choose to sleep in. I can't. I have issues.
So, what would you choose if all responsibilities were taken away for a day?